How time flies! It has been five years since the launch of the book, Provocative Manners: The Sauce of Life with my best friend, Katrina. There’s nothing more amazing, nor more exhausting than writing a book. As I am now working on a second book, the love and pressure has started all over again and there are no better feelings than the love and dedication put into a book for others to enjoy! Buy your copy on Barnes & Noble or Amazon and enjoy!
Let’s Enjoy Each Other’s Company.
Sometimes we forget how to handle the stress of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years that we get caught up in ourselves and our own desires, while forgetting the needs of others. Instead of focusing on the gifts, the food, or the parties, let’s focus on spending time together or going out of our way for someone who is dealing with a difficult time. Learn to enjoy the company of every person, whether we get along or not. Annoy them with kindness! You know the saying, “kill them with kindness”.
This isn’t easy advice to follow. It’s easier to give our time and money to those we love and show respect in return, but sometimes it means more to out of our way and enjoy the company of those who we cannot handle! Enjoy your Holiday Season and take time to think and care for not only those you love but those who might annoy you, but also are deserving of love too.
The Special Moments.
1. Pick one person in your life who needs to feel loved and do something extra special for them. Send them flowers, make them cookies or even a funny card in the mail will brighten their day.
2. Go out of your way to invite someone out for coffee who might annoy you, but needs a shoulder to lean on.
3. Make extra time for those you love. You might make a small effort here, but don’t they deserve your time and attention. Even setting up a date night for you and your significant other or even more fun, schedule a date night for a couple who hasn’t had a night out without the kids in awhile.
4. Truly take the time to listen to someone. Instead of zoning out when someone is seeking advice or even just to be listened to, maybe try to absorb what they are saying and be interested in them.
5. Learn to love others more than yourself. This might seem obvious, or you are rolling your eyes at this point, but life has enough tragedies, woes and selfish people who want the attention all the time. Take a moment to accept your sufferings, appreciate your blessings, and stop dwelling on your own problems, oftentimes you will realize that others have it much worse and are in dire need of a friend.
Wait, maybe it’s just a lack of common-sense. We aren’t talking about spending excessive amounts of time primping and prodding just to buy groceries! No, we are talking about the basics here:
Did you brush your hair and teeth this morning?
Did you take a minute to put on some mascara, eyeliner and a dab of lip gloss? (Come on, Ladies, you know what your face needs to look more awake!)
Are you wearing matching socks? (And Men, brown socks and black shoes do not compliment! Don’t even get us started on the white socks and black shoes!)
Did you get dressed? And no, pajama pants that look like yoga pants do not count!
These questions might seem ridiculous and wreak of common-sense but for some reason common-sense is extremely lacking in today’s society! Why is it so hard for people to put themselves together in the morning? We don’t mean you have to leave the house looking like the Duchess of Cambridge (even though she always looks fabulous!) but give yourself 15-20 minutes to get ready and make a little more effort with a little less laziness. You will be amazed at the results!
“Carelessness in dressing is moral suicide.” ~Honoré de Balzac
You think there is no time to get ready for work in the morning? Think again! Here’s your solution: wake up 20 minutes earlier!
You think that your children must look put together for school, and there is no time left for you? Think again! Here’s your solution: wake up 20 minutes earlier! Get yourself dressed first and then wake up the family. Children will lead by example.
You think, “this is my day off, why should I get dressed?” Please reconsider this thought process… If you plan on staying home, that’s fine, wear the yoga pants but at least brush your hair and apply a small amount of makeup. You may have an unwelcome guest sooner than you think. If you do leave the house to run errands, it is important to put yourself together for the day. You might run into a client, future client, past co-worker, old high school crush, or maybe even a future lover!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS DO COUNT!
Unfortunately, the theory of “individuality” has been taken to an extreme! An extreme of laziness, self-deprecation, lack of common-sense and in the end, just irresponsible as the next person. You won’t lose your personal style or values by dressing with style! It has become abnornal to see a woman put together with clothing fitted properly, makeup complimenting her facial features and her feminine physique isn’t hidden behind frumpy t-shirts. Men, show your masculinity, be proud of it! Don’t wear baggy pants and t-shirts (enough said!). Please get rid of the Hawaiian shirts or save them for Hawaii. Why is it so hard for men to wear a polo and khaki pants? Here’s a tip: Women love a well-dressed man! Use that to your advantage!
“Like every good man, I strive for perfection, and, like every ordinary man, I have found that perfection is out of reach – but not the perfect suit.” ~Edward Tivnan
Life is too short, let’s enjoy the moments of love and try to overcome the heartaches with a smile, because there will be heartaches and lots of them. It isn’t that we should ignore these troubles, but we need to remember that everything shall pass.
Many people go through life only finding the negativity that surrounds them. What a horrible way to live! It seems that this type of mentality would exhaust a person more than having a happy disposition. Life is too short, let’s enjoy the moments of love and try to overcome the heartaches with a smile, because there will be heartaches and lots of them. It isn’t that we should ignore these troubles, but we need to remember that everything shall pass.
- Wake up each morning at the same time and preferably at an early time. Depending on your schedule, of course. There is no reason to waste your life away in bed. Carpe Diem! Waking up a bit earlier might give you a few extra minutes that you can enjoy by yourself with a warm cup of coffee and a good book.
- Schedules are important, but they should never stress you out. If you are making a schedule to improve your chaotic lifestyle then that’s a step in the right direction, but if this schedule is unrealistic and can never be achieved, don’t push yourself into a state of despair. Adjust the schedule, little by little, so that it fits into your life appropriately. Remember, good things usually happen in small steps.
- Smile more, laugh more, talk more, and yes, even listen more! Take a moment the next time you are at the grocery store and count how many people you see smiling, usually the clerks aren’t even happy. Stand out from the norm, make a point to smile at people, make them laugh, and engage in a conversation. Not a conversation all about YOU, but about the person standing in front of you because they deserve kindness too.
- Take care of yourself. If you aren’t happy about your life, your body image, your health, or your financial situation, then it’s time you make changes. Of course, these changes won’t happen overnight, but this is all about setting realistic goals. No one gets out of financial difficulties within 2 months, sometimes it take years or even a decade, but it can be done. Our society is based on wanting self-gratification immediately, but this is completely unrealistic. Find a friend or ask a professional for help to get you back on the right track. Never be afraid to ask for help, it’s okay to be vulnerable.
- Good Things Take Time! Don’t expect your life to change without you initiating those changes. It is easy to pick up a bad habit, but it is so much more difficult to permanently fix those bad habits. They say it takes 21 days to fix a habit, that’s almost a month. Give yourself a month before giving up on your goals! At no point in our lives will we be perfectly happy. There are too many factors outside of our control, but if we make the most of our situations, work to better ourselves, and assist those around us, life will always be good!
- A good friend is never in the relationship for their own personal gain. Yes, we all want someone to talk with, to laugh with and to just be ourselves with, but that’s not personal gain as long as we desire the same for the other person. Thinking of others is sometimes one of the hardest things to do, but good habits are formed only by repetition.
- Friends have each others backs! It’s called devotion, dedication, and sometime with a lot of compromise. We all have to learn these behaviors as adults, whether it’s in the workplace, at home with our spouse, or with our family, but why do people think that this shouldn’t exist within a friendship? It shouldn’t matter where or how you and your friends spend time together, it just matters that you are together!
- Take it easy and enjoy the ride. We often forget that life is a ride and we really don’t have control over most of it. If we remember that it isn’t all about us, it will make life much smoother. A good friendship will learn to “go with the flow”. Schedules change, moods change, and it’s okay. Friendships should never be exhausting, dramatic, or hurtful. And if you can’t enjoy your time with that friend, then it’s time to weed out the bad, toxic friends.
- Love your friends. Appreciate their virtues and their vices. You should want to do everything in your power to be there for the people near and dear to you. Everyone desires a happy life, so why not work each day to make the lives of those you love a little bit happier, easier, and above all filled with LOVE! Because all we need is love, right?
- Smile! A happy person can move mountains and make some of the best friends!
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!
A shout-out to my best friend, Katy, of many many years, who has stuck by me through thick and thin, but this is what has made our friendship great. I hope you all find a dear friend who keeps you grounded and laughing at the same time!
If you haven’t read our fabulous book about manners and common sense,
purchase it on Amazon!
Take a moment to smile and change the world – any small act of love. Last week I took all four children to the grocery store (I know that’s pretty crazy, right?) and typically my older two like to color pictures and give them as “gifts” to the unsuspecting check-out person. Well, at first I was irritated with myself because I chose the aisle with the crabby lady who wouldn’t crack a smile. My first thought: oh great, she’s going to ignore the pictures and the children will be upset. Note to self – address the situation later in the car. Luckily, my children didn’t notice her mood right away and enthusiastically handed her the colored pictures. The woman apprehensively grabbed the folded papers and assumed they were garbage. She was about to throw them away, but I explained the children made presents for her…and then I waited for her reaction…you will never believe it, but her entire mood changed. The lady loved the pictures and was extremely chatty and kind to the children after receiving the gifts. These little ones who were so excited to color a picture for the check-out person (even though they didn’t know her) completely turned this lady’s day around. I’m sure every nearby shopper heard my huge sigh of relief.
This experience reaffirmed my belief that adults are jaded (yes, none of us are exempt). We rely too much on our emotions and creating lasting impressions. Adults are self-centered. We truly need to become more like little children and give ourselves completely to the happiness of others. I have heard many people question the deterioration of their own sanity by giving all of themselves to others. Let’s be honest, society constantly asks the same selfish questions day in and day out. “What have you done for yourself today?” “How will you reward yourself?” It starts again with the uncontrollable reward system. Let’s look at this from a different point of view. It’s about time that we love for the sake of loving and helping for the sake of offering unconditional love. Working together, we can create a unified community. The more love and attention I give to my children and husband, the less I focus on myself and interestingly enough, I am transported into a sublime state of happiness. My love has grown leaps and bounds for my family over the years. The more children we have, and the more I dedicate my entire being to the welfare of my family, the more I love them all. There’s an amazing never-ending supply of love. Don’t reserve that love for only close family and friends (even though they greatly deserve it), but spread it to all.
We will never regret loving another person, even if they aren’t receptive, but there will definitely be regrets if we never try. So, instead of “paying it forward” only around Christmas time or a few moments a year when social media reminds us; it’s time to give ourselves (all of ourselves) everyday. Every person deserves to be loved – family, friends, and strangers. We are social beings who desire love, so let’s unconditionally give that love, while also raising our children to do the same, because ultimately, what is life without love?
Bucket List of Unconditional Love
- Invite a friend/family member over for dinner who is lonely.
- Bake your favorite cookies and drop them off at a neighbor’s house.
- Pick a handful of flowers and visit an elderly relative.
- Smile at a stranger everyday (you will never be happy in your own little bubble)/
- Enjoy every moment with your family and friends. You will never get a repeat. Those closest to us are sometimes the most difficult to love, but all the more reason to show them respect.