Motherhood Truths as School Begins

It took me awhile to write this post as I sit back and feel a bit sad that my children are returning to school. Yes, I am looking forward to that schedule, but I’m not going to pretend that our lives were chaotic with no schedule during summer. For everyone who knows me well, knows that I can’t live without schedules. I love to-do lists and planning my day. It doesn’t mean that we are doing something each moment, but I like everything to be in order, it’s one of my obnoxious personality traits. So, yes, it will be nice to have a few hours during the day with two children, instead of all four, since most of the older ones don’t take naps anymore…but it’s also not easy for me to let them go. As I sit and ponder why it’s getting harder for me to send them to school each year, instead of easier, here are a few of the “Mom Truths”that best describe my thoughts as another school year begins.

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Credit: DMHeckenkamp
  • As I stay home with my little ones and get to witness their first words, first steps, and much more, I don’t get to see all these firsts with my older children when they are at school. It’s part of letting them have independence and learning on their own, but I don’t get to see their first smile from meeting a new friend, or the feeling when they receive a treat for a job well done, or how they play in gym class. Yes, I get to hear about it, but I miss seeing these firsts and sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
  • It’s exciting to know that my children are learning to develop and become independent people as they step out of the house and venture into a new classroom. But, honestly, it’s really hard to let go. It’s hard to not be their only happy place. I’m so grateful that my children have a wonderful school to attend with loving teachers and I know it’s part of motherhood, to them fly, but it isn’t easy.
  • I didn’t always cherish these moments, but I have learned to love any extra time with my children when they desire me to be by their side. They haven’t reached the moody teenage years yet and they still want to sit next to me or hold my hand. As they enter a new grade this year and are another year older, it’s making me more aware that these days are going to end.
  • No matter how tough it is to be in the thickest waters of motherhood with four little ones, it’s getting hard to let this phase go with some of the older ones as they become independent. I am appreciative that the older ones are much more self-sufficient than the 20 month and 3 year old, but it does sadden me to know that they no longer need my help as they once did. I still remember feeding my oldest child yogurt in the living room over seven years ago on a lazy morning. Those were the mornings before I had any children in school and it could be a whole day of play. Now that I focus attention on more than one child, there are many more responsibilities and less time for lazy days.
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Credit: DMHeckenkamp

I am so happy that my children are growing into beautiful people who one day will need to thrive on their own without my help. It’s our job as parents to provide all of these life lessons in order for them to succeed, but as we do, we also give up a bit of ourselves. That is the hardest part. It’s beautiful to love, but it sad to lose a bit of ourselves with each life lesson we teach our children. But, isn’t that the ultimate gift of love? To remember that our children are only on loan to us and they have their own missions in this world. Let’s hope that we are all giving them the tools to succeed and make it a better place for everyone.

A Mother’s Search for Hope

I found my vocation to motherhood along a rather winding road, but looking back, it was most definitely Divine Providence. God has his plan and sometimes it’s better not to get in his way. Looking back, I am grateful that I accepted this calling. Over the past eight years of struggling and laughing through my busy days, exhausting days, and happy days, I have learned to take each day at a time, but with renewed hope.

The endless love a mother has for each child cannot be explained – it is a gift. With each baby, my love for them grew and I am so very grateful for this love, it has helped me through the long days and short years.

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But I have found another very important virtue in relation to motherhood and that is HOPE. Without love, a family does not grow, but without hope, there is no faith in the future. As I spend my days with my children, I have attempted to remain far from the rambling terrors of the outside world. Yes, it is important to be aware of current events, but if these “events” become a distraction, then it is time to let them go. So, even though I have a love for the law and politics, I have determined that this phase of my life is not suited among that unhappiness. There is very little hope among the unrest in our world. My time is better suited with my family and their immediate needs.

I refuse to focus on the dangers, selfishness, and unhappiness promoted in our society. Instead, I look to the virtue of hope in a desire to have faith for brighter roads ahead for my children, future generations, and for society as a whole.

I recently saw a comforting memorial on Facebook where mothers, from all walks of life, were taking a moment to recognize not only their living children, but the children they have lost early. I’m not an emotional person, but seeing how many mothers have suffered through miscarriage or the loss of a child is astounding. We hide those pains deep within our hearts, because just as our love is overflowing, so is our hurt and pain. There still remains a stigma as women suffer alone through the loss of a child – it is difficult for others to comprehend. As I reflect back on my own three miscarriages, and one rather recently, I desire to focus on the good. I pray that those babies are sitting among the angels and saints in heaven and looking down upon their earthly family with smiles.

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I refuse to hide my loss and push those thoughts into a back corner. I search for hope that in the future, I may one day see those beautiful babies face to face. True hope can be found in the faces of my children each and every day and for that I am truly grateful.

I am celebrating Mother’s Day Weekend and my daughter’s 8th birthday on the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima (because I’m Catholic and Portuguese, so this 100th anniversary is an extra special day for our family) with open arms and with prayers for all my children – the four sweet little faces that grace my eyes every day and the three faces that I am unable to see right now, but hope to see in the next life.

There is no one I can thank more than my own mother for her unselfishness love and hope for her family. Thank you, mom!

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Michelle Cascio Photography

I hope that you also have a blessed Mother’s Day

among the faces of your children!